Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
