I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I FOUND THE LEGS
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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