u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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