Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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