My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
