I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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