just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
