i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I can't turn off my feet"
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
