I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
