Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
