I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
