I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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