Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
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Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
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And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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