Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
