I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
