just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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