I just cut my nipple shaving
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
