you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
