remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
