So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I touched a dick in church today
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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