She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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