I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
