She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
