i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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