Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
