Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
