Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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