Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
