I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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