this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
