I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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