gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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