I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
