Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
