i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize