Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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