trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
