I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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