You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
