She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
