found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
