PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Dignity is for republicans.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
