She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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