Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I DEMAND FORESKIN
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize