Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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