lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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