Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.