I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
