One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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