Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You took a bar mat shot.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
