her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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