If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
