You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
