I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
