I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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