I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
