I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
