I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
