dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
