Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
