I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I have demons in me.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
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