He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
