I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
